Alfie Bell is…fine. He’s got a six-figure salary, a penthouse, the car he swore he’d buy when he was eighteen, and a bunch of fancy London friends.
It’s rough, though, going back home now everyone knows he’s a pansy. He thought he’d escaped that old town, and the lie he lived there, years ago. It’s the last place he’s expecting to meet someone. But Fen’s gorgeous, with his pink-tipped hair and hipster glasses and flower shop, full of the sort of courage Alfie’s never had. It should be a one-night thing, but Alfie hasn’t met anyone like Fen before.
Except he has. At school, when Alfie was everything he was supposed to be, and Fen was the stubborn little gay boy who wouldn’t keep his head down—and who, despite their growing connection, will never truly forgive him.
Fen just wants to live his life. Alfie just wants to make things right. But how can he be anything other than another heartbreak waiting to happen, when all they’ve got in common is the nowhere town they both spent their lives fighting to escape?
Pansies by Alexis Hall is a deeply emotional story about a connection that is not the best timing, a bit messy but beautifully romantic. I love the conflict between Alfie and Fen, that connection between them even though they start at odds but most of all, what I like is how beautifully honest it is about heteronormative expectations, grief, societal beliefs about how men should be and how toxic those ideas can be.
Alfie is a very straightforward man and I like that the novel is told from his point of view. It is a clever narrative element to add insight into Fen by giving us his letters to his mother, however and even though most of the story we see Fen from Alfie’s eyes, both characters are compelling and the emotional connection between them clear from the beginning. I love how Alfie struggles with how he was raised and the underlying toxic beliefs he holds about being a man and being gay. I love how he overcomes this with Fen challenging those beliefs. I also like how much he helps Fen heal from his grief. The characters are messy, authentic and beautiful because they aren’t perfect. The ending is a perfect one for the pair of them, where they get their happy ever after.
If you love romances that are deeply emotional and complex, with messy authentic characters, I completely recommend Pansies. Alexis Hall is one of the best writers out there with novels that are compelling and layered romances with interesting characters that I love to revisit time and again. If you haven’t read anything by Alexis yet, try this one. It is beautiful.
Rating: 5 out of 5 drives