Ezra Friedman sees ghosts, which made growing up in a funeral home complicated. It might have been easier if his grandfather’s ghost didn’t give him scathing looks of disapproval as he went through a second, HRT-induced puberty, or if he didn’t have the pressure of all those relatives—living and dead—judging every choice he makes. It’s no wonder that Ezra runs as far away from the family business as humanly possible.

But when the floor of his dream job drops out from under him and his mother uses the family Passover seder to tell everyone she’s running off with the rabbi’s wife, Ezra finds himself back in the thick of it. With his parents’ marriage imploding and the Friedman Family Memorial Chapel on the brink of financial ruin, Ezra agrees to step into his mother’s shoes and help out . . . which means long days surrounded by ghosts that no one else can see.

And then there’s his unfortunate crush on Jonathan, the handsome funeral home volunteer . . . who just happens to live downstairs from Ezra’s new apartment . . . and the appearance of the ghost of Jonathan’s gone-too-soon husband, Ben, who is breaking every spectral rule that Ezra knows.

Because Ben can speak. He can move. And as Ezra tries to keep his family together and his heart from getting broken, he realizes that there’s more than one way to be haunted—and more than one way to become a ghost.

Rules For Ghosting by Shelly Jay Shore is profoundly emotional and moving, a story that delves into the nature of grief, of change, of relationships in a way few other narratives have accomplished. In the novel, Ezra not only is a psychic who sees ghosts but he is also transgender which leads to complicated emotions with his family and patterns of behavior that cause him to run away from those feelings. The novel takes you on a journey as Ezra learns to embrace his feelings, his fears and change the patterns of his life.

The novel creates a conversation about what it truly means to live and to embrace who you are. It also explores grief in some complex and interesting ways as not only Ezra but also Jonathan have to explore that grief in order to move on and embrace life. I love the relationships in this story, not only between Jonathan and Ezra but also between Ezra and Ben, Ezra and his family, both his immediate family but also his chosen family, his friends. The story explores all the various ways families can come together, not just biological but also found family and it is beautifully handled. 

If you like stories that are complex and delve into family in multiple ways, this novel is unique, dealing with layers of emotion and exploring grief in a very different way from other novels. The idea of a found family is also beautiful and the story is profoundly emotional but has a rich, powerful ending. 

Rating: 5 out of 5 spirits